Friday, April 15, 2022

Infertility

Going thru infertility is grieving what you thought your family would look like.

Growing up being a mom was always the one thing I wanted more than anything in the world, and still to this day although it has been the biggest struggle of my life it is still the one thing I want more than life itself.

I always thought by my early 30's I would have at least two kids, here we are 6 months after turning 37 with zero babies & struggling to become pregnant even with IVF. 

My mom was always my best friend, even on days I may have disliked her, or in my eyes at the time "hated her" because she was just being a mom & caring about me 😭.

I honestly do not know what I would do without my mom even to this day, even if she lives 4hrs away she will always be my biggest hero, biggest supporters & my biggest rock.. growing up I always envision I would have the same relationship with my babies one day that my sister & I do with our Mom & some days I struggle to feel like it will ever happen because things have been so hard.

Some days I just want to scream in anger, cry my eyes and heart out because I struggle to keep my faith or find it again after its been lost.

I am not ready to give up on my biggest dream and hope more than anything it comes true soon. 

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